Wikileaks and Russian spies: UK MI5 presents new guidelines to MPs and diplomats

The UK secret services are fed up with the latest incidents affecting the secret world of spooks. First, Wikileaks’ Cablegate reveals all the disparaging comments so-called diplomats make about each other, and now a UK MP’s assistant is claimed to be a Russian spy and arrested.

MI5 have therefore devised a new set of guidelines that were issued early this morning directly by Number 10 for the attention of all civil servants, diplomats, members of governments and MPs.

The documents is surprisingly short and states in two sentences what the UK’s new policy should be in order to avoid leaks: “If the person you are talking to be it physically or virtually looks like a fake peroxided blond, please refrain from sharing state or bed secrets with them. They could be a source of leaks”. When the BJ pointed out a similar warning had already been issued by the European Commission to its staff in February 2009, MI5 pointed out that their warning did not limit itself to “pretty trainee[s] with long legs and blonde hair”, as the Commissiondi had.

Well, guess it’s time for Julian Assange to go to the hairdresser’s.