EU “diplomats’ village” may be up to standard

Foreign service professionals from several Member States had been becoming increasingly nervous about joining the European External Action Service being established by the Union’s High Representative for Foreign Affairs and Security Policy. They feared the “diplomats’ village” due to be in place by the time the service opens for business would not be up to the standard to which they are accustomed.

The High Representative for the Union’s Foreign Affairs and Security policy was naturally sympathetic to their anxieties. Despite her humble background, the Right Honorable Baroness Ashton of Upholland is no stranger to the good life. Even if her taste is sometimes questionable, her attire reflects the fact that she enjoys the purchasing power of her role to the full. Unfortunately the budget for the premises for the new service does not stretch far enough to be able to afford her first choice: the brand-new Triangle building, of which the address on the Avenue de la Joyeuse Entrée seemed so appropriate in the heady days before negotiations about the new service.

Ashton appalled at the prospect of 3-star accommodation.

Alternatives were limited by the requirement to keep a discrete distance from the Commission of which her Vice-Presidency generates suspicion at the Council, and the need to be located at a politically correct remove from Council premises.

However the Brussels Jungle can reveal that luxury may win the day over such subtleties and the Lex building, currently occupied by Council translators, might indeed be selected.

This is thanks to the intervention of a hotel group with possibly greater faith in its ability to turn a profit than the EU’s ability to manage affairs beyond its borders. The hoteliers have offered to upgrade facilities within the building in return for use of the premises at weekends when Lady Ashton is generally in London.

The Baroness is apparently very keen of being able to make full use of the new facilities in the “High Representative Vice-Presidential Suite” during the week. These include a gym and a jacuzzi where she can look forward to relaxing after braving the unavoidable fit of apoplexy in the Parliament when they learn the service has been located in such dangerous proximity to a degenerate den of inter-governmentalism.