Concern as Belgian beer consumption declines

Lost tradition?

There has been alarm at the steep decline in the amount of beer drunk by Belgians. Ten years ago, an average of 121 litres of beer was consumed per person, each year. In 2009, that amount had shrunk to only 81 litres, a 30% drop. Brewers are quick to point out that increased exports more than make up for the shortfall, especially in the United States where the micro-brewing craze has benefited small producers of high quality beer, made from natural ingredients.

“That’s not the bloody point,” said an exasperated government official to Brussels Journal reporters, “there’s a real danger that, if this trend continues, the country might sober up enough to realise what a mess we’re all in. Then there’s going to be trouble.” The concern is shared by many in the political elite, but the subject is not open for discussion.

A source close to the Royal camp said, “It will be unbearable if people start to focus on the reality, rather than the beer glass. We’ve got all these extra parliaments, that, in effect do very little, a service economy staffed by people who can, at best be called belligerent, at worst sociopaths, public services that are shockingly poor and a civil service that basically constitutes a crime against humanity.” He added that, “while people are pretty drunk, they can laugh it off, but if they ever decide to face reality, they’re in for a shock.”

There is a plan, being formulated to resolve this “grave national danger”. Drink drive laws are going to be scrapped, beer will be provided to primary school children and above, in an attempt to find a long term solution, “get them while they’re young,” said a senior official in the Education ministry, “I want them staggering out into the playground at lunchtime”. The water standards authority is going to be closed and schools and universities are going to have regular contacts with British students. The official explained, “we hope they will teach our youngsters all about binge drinking”.

Some hold out the hope that Belgians, after the financial crisis, had moved on to spirits, especially Poire William, but this seems not to be the case.