BJ exclusive: David Cameron’s PM application letter
After someone pulled a hoax by posting in the jobs classifieds of the Guardian an ad for a Prime Minister (see screenshot below), it seems David Cameron’s advisers did not spot that this was a joke, and encouraged him to send in his application.
As a result, the BJ reporters were able to have a glance at the letter of motivation sent in by Cameron and his team, which notably stated “as regards the job specifications listed, I can guarantee that, as is amply demonstrated by my CV and track record, I respond to every single requirement, and even exceed them by a comfortable margin. Obviously, as the requirements include a canny ability to spin and be economical with the truth , it will be difficult for you to assess if my bland statement of competence reflects reality, but as part of the reality is to spin facts into magic, I guess neither you or I will ever get to the bottom of this. I consider the fact that I have just written an entire paragraph without saying anything but that gave a fuzzy feeling of comfort is the living proof of my ability to take on the job, or at the very least, to get elected and than make a mess out of it like everyone else.”.
The recruiters at Guru Resourcing Ltd. did not wish to comment specifically on this job application as it “would go against the basic requirements of privacy” but did confirm that several other applications had been submitted, one of which had been turned down because the candidate looked outrageously full of make up for “a grown up man”.
Copy of the content of the ad before it was removed:
PRIME MINISTER – LONDON (SW1A)
Are you a Senior Minister / MP looking for that step up? Do you want to take up a highly influential position in the British Government and rub noses with World Leaders, Monarchs, Celebrities and the like? Read on…
Reporting directly to the Queen, the Prime Minister will be at the very forefront of decision making in the UK, making new laws, setting taxes and attending debates all whilst keeping good relations with other parliamentary members. In more detail you will…
- Liaise regularly with cabinet ministers to exchange views and ideas.
- Be accountable for the overall British Economy.
- Modernise long standing British institutions like the NHS, Police Force etc.
- Amend policies and promises at short notice to suit you and your party.
- Work closely with Journalists to ensure brilliant PR.
We want to hear from highly organised, energetic and motivated Ministers with a distinct ability to remain unflappable even in the most demanding situations i.e. a Jeremy Paxman interview. You must also be an upstanding citizen with an exemplary educational background from a Red Brick University and a personality of national acceptance.
It is not essential that you possess previous PM experience as on the job training is offered, however you must demonstrate a previous background in Parliament as a Minister, Speaker, Lobbyist or similar. Ultimately, we are looking for a parliamentary heavyweight capable of communicating at all levels with a unique ability to put positive spin on even the most dire scenarios, therefore experience of being economical with the truth is an absolute must.
Joining a relaxed and enjoyable working environment, our client invests heavily in staff development with great benefits to match, including: Great working conditions, an excellent office location, extensive benefits (8 Bed House, Personal expenses, Free Transport, 2nd home + Furnishings.) and excellent remuneration. Get in touch…
* Previous applicants need not apply.
Keywords: Prime Minister, Senior Minister, MP, Senior MP, World Leader, President, Vice President, MP Jobs in London, Ministerial Jobs in London, Prime Minister Jobs, Jobs as Prime Minister, Jobs in Parliament, Parliamentary Jobs in London, Central London, Westminster, SW1.
Guru are an employment business renowned for delivering careers networking and in this instance Guru are managing the selection process for this particular Prime Minister campaign on the behalf of our client. We offer a transparent service to both clients and candidates which means that if you pass our initial filtering criteria (based on your CV suitability against our client’s requirements) we will email you with the client’s details and also pass your complete application to the client for consideration. By applying to this role you are granting consent for us to work in this way. One final note, your application will only be used in conjunction with this specific role.
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The Brussels Jungle
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You’ve obviously spent some time on this. Well done!
Thank you for the great information. I look forward to seeing more articles and what else you have to offer!
A well thought out and written hoax! I can’t believe they actually took the person up on it especially about the mockery of truth part.