Statue facing European Commission leaps to its death

In yet again an attack of utter boredom at watching the (lack of) activities displayed in the Charlemagne and Berlaymont buildings, a statue rue de la Loi jumped from its pedestal and walked right in the middle of the peak hour traffic on Rue de la Loi.

Surprisingly, a Commission official standing outside the building for a whiff of Brussels car emissions and cigarette smoke was able to take a picture of this desperate action.

The civil servant wishing to remain anonymous (as he had been spending 80% of that day outside the building taking smoking breks rather than sitting inside pretending to work) did agree to tell BJ reporters more about the incident.

“It was utterly bizarre” the man said. “One minute, the statue was standing still as usual, and the other it just stepped off its pedestal, muttering something that sounded like ‘This is too much even for me..don’t these guys ever do anything exciting’, before walking very calmly into the oncoming traffic”.

Even though cars tried to avoid hitting the despairing statue, a beige Lada Niva was unable to change direction in time and hit the statue at full speed.

BJ reporters arrived shortly afterwards and were able to talk to the driver: “I’m absolutely in shock. I pass by this avenue every day of my life and often see the stares of real life people coming out of the Charlemagne and Berlaymont buildings…but never did I imagine that this bronze artwork would be the first victim”.

The Commission spokesperson in charge of statues was unwilling to comment on the incident, complaining that it was another example of “speculation” against the EU.